Today is a should-be day. A day where, how things are now, isn’t how we hoped they would be. You see, today is the due-date of a baby I would have loved to hold, not my own, but one I would have adored. The hope we have is that I will hold another, yet it […]
Tonight I went to a prayer event with hundreds of other people from churches across Manchester. Greater Manchester Prayer Night. As we were in worship I saw a picture of a garden, a huge beautiful garden like Eden. But then throughout it were scattered wastelands, they looks dangerous and dark. From one patch of garden […]
Most days Facebook reminds me of something from years ago. Sometimes it’s a cute video or photo and I click on it to take a closer look, to remember and share it. Sometimes it’s a hideous reminder of bad outfit choices, or relationship choices, or just stuff that makes me CRINGE! Often, more often that […]
It has been almost a year since I last wrote a blog post. It’s a year ago this month that my friend died and often I’ve written drafts but nothing felt right to post- death can do that I think. Throws things into perspective and makes it hard to get past. The longer I’ve gone […]
I was in a mood with my Mum. I can’t remember why (clearly not important) and we hadn’t chatted it out yet. So at dinner, with my husband, Dad and grandparents all sat round-there was an atmosphere. I’ve always been told I’m an atmosphere changer. When I’m happy-you’ll know about it, sadly it really works […]
I’m going into hospital on Wednesday as I’ve been unwell now for a couple months. I’m super fed-up of it and none of the options for what might be wrong are looking nice. Nobody wants to be unwell..obviously..and I’m a terrible patient, because I’m impatient! This week I started getting a couple more text messages […]
Three years ago I wrote a blogpost about depression and anxiety. I remember feeling at my lowest point, genuinely worried that I had lost myself and unsure I’d ever be ‘normal’ again. I was unable to speak to anyone except my mum and my husband. As I wrote ‘Elijah Rest‘ blogpost, my Nanan was on […]
I’d like to take a moment in the middle of the mess To document how I feel, what I’m missing in the stress After three weeks in Burma off the plane straight to hospitals, doctors out & in I need to pause and recognise that I can’t wait for normal to begin I’m just looking […]
Waiting in the airport lobby. We suddenly hear huge loud rain. Though as most places here have tin roofs it didn’t worry me much as rain sounds louder everywhere. ‘It’ll probably be fine, doesn’t look like too much rain’ I told Lawrence. Just then, more rain fell, even harder and wind swept fast and crazy […]
I have just written a letter to my baby. Of course he can’t read it today but it is for when he is older. I wrote one last year & will write one each year for him. Inside is full and personal, my hopes for him & mainly just my unconditional love of him. How […]
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