I have just written a letter to my baby. Of course he can’t read it today but it is for when he is older. I wrote one last year & will write one each year for him. Inside is full and personal, my hopes for him & mainly just my unconditional love of him. How proud he makes me even though he’s done nothing to earn it. 

One thing I am so thankful for is experiencing this great bond that is so full between us. He is going to be two next month yet already is a chatterbox & can clearly articulate what he wants…mainly what he wants you to do & him not do! Yet what I love most is the secret way we communicate. When life’s busy or we are in the middle of ‘stuff’ and I can just look at him & know how he’s feeling. I know if he needs holding or helping or he knows if the look on my face is that I’m about to tickle him so he starts squirming before I even move a muscle! It’s the most beautiful thing to experience & I am so greatful to have this love for my son. God knows what he’s doing..He created it & He wants it with us.

I have had a bit of a busy summer-time & can feel occasionally like ‘dry’. Not that I’m not a christian..I hate that people say ‘not being a good Christian’ because what does that even mean! Not loosing my faith or a ‘duty’ I’m not fulfilling in reading my bible & getting ‘quiet time’. I think we can feel this ‘dryness’ and associate it with all those negative things that we must be failing..when actually it’s that we are missing the one we love. 

The loss, dryness, and then all that follows I think is an indication of a good thing. We are in true relationship with the one who loves us the best. You only miss someone because you love them so greatly. The feeling of really missing & greatly deeply loving is very similar I find. Therefore rather than beat myself up about it..I just in the car driving along said “I miss you Jesus..Hi..” and started chatting again.

Why? Because He doesn’t move. He is steadfast. He is unchangeable. He is ever-present. I moved. 

Yet, the beautiful kindness of this perfect Jesus, is that even when I don’t realise- When I’m busy & it’s getting a lot around me..He knows me well enough to see when I need holding. To come help me and give me strength even when I don’t ask for it. We are one. Just as I have this bond, this covenant with my Lion. Where I see what he needs & go to him without him needing to say a word. 

I will always love him & want him to know he is mine & he’s done enough to earn that just by being my son…the same is spoken over me. 

Spoken by a Father who is far greater than I am, who adopts me, calls me into fullness of joy & hope. The word adoption shouldn’t make us feel detached but compleatly chosen & accepted, we are one-with Him. Just as in Songs of Solomon 6.3

I pray that in reading this you will know how deeply loved you are. That you will know what a good, gracious, loving Father this God is. That you will let go of anything that is holding you back or making you feel inadequate, You are More Than a Conqueror a Child of God and most fiercely loved. Whatever surrounds you, without even saying a word..He is there, He sees you & knows you. If you miss Him it’s cz you love him..& you can always get back in & on with it again.. 

‘Furious’ Bethel Song ❤️

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