It’s 3am & we’ve been up for a while, there’s sick on my TShirt, my boobs hurt, my wound hurts and I just changed the third dirty nappy. You know what keeps resounding in my head & heart:
“I prayed for this child, and the LORD has granted me what I asked of him.” 1Sam1.27
I have read this verse at countless dedications, I’ve written it in cards. Yet this past week I have known the depths of what it is to look at a baby, in all the reality of how hard it is in these days and just feel utterly thankful. I’ve always loved Hannah in the Bible, obvs, but I feel I now understand her deeper. That ‘granted me what I asked of him’ isn’t a simple ask it means – I petitioned-I cried out-I broke down-I lost myself & He found me- I dared to hope again & had loved ones carry me and believe for me through times I couldn’t for myself.
In the quiet moments, I have the thought in holding her of “I’m so thankful I’m not walking to Edale”. I love Hope Valley as my two precious girls are laid there. I also don’t, as the valley of the shadow of death was a painful walk, I have the shadow of it try to bring fear or doubt even now.
Yet in my arms is my Hope girl. A miracle for whom I have deeply longed for. In the hardest time of grief, breakthrough started on a beach in wales through a song by Becky Higg Music called ‘Love What You Have’. I encourage you to listen, it helped me stop missing what I had for what I wanted. I grew from there..
I think it’s still a key now in these early days of holding the miracle – I don’t want to miss it for the mess it can look like!
Jovie’s life encourages me to believe again for miracles & I’d love to pray for yours. I’ll commit to pray
Whatever you long for, dream of, dare to hope for- start here: Love what you have 🤍 Theres freedom in it x