I’m going into hospital on Wednesday as I’ve been unwell now for a couple months. I’m super fed-up of it and none of the options for what might be wrong are looking nice. Nobody wants to be unwell..obviously..and I’m a terrible patient, because I’m impatient!
This week I started getting a couple more text messages than usual from friends asking how I was. Immediately suspicious, I asked my husband if he’s been talking! He explained that he was concerned for me so he had set up a Whatsapp group with some close friends & family to ask for prayer. For them to stand with us and be praying.
I know you are probably thinking how sweet of him, but I am not so nice! I was so so annoyed! Like I say, I’m a bad patient and I actually think I’m getting on with everything pretty well. If you saw my Instagram account you’d not know I am ill at all, I don’t think. Not because I’m fake, but because I like to get on with it. I am either fiercely independent, or just plain stubborn! I like to decide what I tell people & when. Like I’ll write it out in a blogpost so the whole world can see it- but only if I want too!
Recently I’ve felt God speaking to me about prayer & just bringing the problem to Jesus. Not always telling Him exactly how to do what I want and when, but just bringing it before Him. Giving it to Him. Like the friends in Mark 2.4 who brought the man to Jesus, they placed Him before Jesus. Trusting He would do something and waiting to see what He does!
Today I felt God saying that story to me again. The man allowed his friends to carry him to Jesus. He could have said no.
Tonight I was at the evening service at my church and people were praying for healing. I prayed for one of my gorgeous friends for her to be healed.i Then after, she asked to pray for me-as did my mum. I said no.
I know. Why would I say no! I just don’t like it sometimes, I go all off! I love praying for others but, especially for healing or something deep, I struggle. Something becomes hard in my stomach and I think No.
Yet that thought came to my head again.
‘Let them carry you to me’
How much would the man in the story have missed out on, had he stayed on his mat and not allowed his friends to carry him-he’d never have picked up his mat and walked. If Jairus’ daughter had been too proud or embarrassed of her dad to let him run to Jesus, she’d have never left that bed. Much as I prefer to be like the woman with the bleeding who herself reached out and touched Jesus to receive her healing, it doesn’t always happen that way.
Sometimes we have to be vulnerable. We have to admit, ‘I am weak yet He is strong’, allowing others to hold us up when we feel a lack of energy to stand. We have to be open enough to ask for help and not run and hide.
So I allowed my friend to pray and I felt God fill me and refresh me, the picture she had for me was spot on and brought me so much encouragement. She also said that I am not weak, I am also not alone-I am stood shoulder to shoulder with brothers and sisters who will hold me up in prayer. Another friend felt the bethel song ‘No longer a slave’ and just then it was the next song we sang so I claimed it…
As I trust any worry or fear and throw it on Jesus, I also want to allow friends to hold me up. I’m so thankful for a husband that would carry me to Jesus. So I know I need to chill out, let go, rest and try to have peace while I’m being held..
I will let him carry me to Jesus