Crouching in the dark

My Lion is now 9months (I know! Already!?), he has been a bit poorly over the last few weeks. Saturday night on one of his coughing episodes I went into his room to soothe him back to sleep.

I needed him to not know I was there so I was glad it was dark so he couldn’t see me. He’d cough & I’d put his dummy back in and stroke his face gently to soothe him. He’d calm, then cough again & I’d do the same. I knew that if he saw me he’d want to just be lifted out straight away but I also knew that once he was at peace again he would sleep far deeper & it would be better there.

As I was crouching in the dark, knowing I could see him but he couldn’t see me. I felt God talking to me. Showing me that this is the position he has been at so many times in my life. Where I have felt it is dark and I am uncomfortable. I just need lifting out! He has been so close to me. The glimpses of peace or moments of being soothed & countless blessings. That was all Him. That was my God being so close to me, giving me what I needed.

I love Psalm 139 & one of my favourite lines is
If I say, “Surely the darkness will hide me and the light become night around me,” even the darkness will not be dark to you; the night will shine like the day, for darkness is as light to you. (Psalm 139:11, 12 NIV)

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Darkness is as light to Him! Darkness does not scare Him, it does not blind or confuse Him, it cannot cover Him it is as light to Him. He can see in the dark!

I wouldn’t have left my little lion in that cot crying or upset. I was by his side ushering him into a deeper more peaceful place, for his own good so that he would sleep soundly. I wouldn’t leave him in that cot in any distress, I wouldn’t give him more than He can handle. God promises the same. He will not leave us, even when we walk through valleys of the shadow of death (there will be valleys) He will comfort us, He will be with us.

He is often doing far more behind our back than in front of our faces. When we look and can see & know what he is doing that is so comforting. Yet when we don’t, in those times we have to just know that He’s doing more behind our backs, He is seeing in the dark, that’s when we really learn to TRUST.

So know that God will not leave you in your cot! Whatever cot it may be, loneliness,work,depression,difficulty. He wouldn’t leave you there longer than you could handle, he is there watching & soothing you. Maybe he’s bringing you into a deeper more peaceful place- He sees the beginning from the end.

Whatever is going on, know He is there. Darkness is as light to Him- he’s far more powerful than any darkness. So whether He turns the light on & gives you a cuddle, or sits by your side stroking your cheek in the dark- Trust Him. He’s doing far more & has done far more than we could ever know!

**PS.
*My Lion is my baby..see previous blog;
https://hannahbettany.com/2014/05/08/i-have-a-lion/

*I have struggled with feeling in darkness and know a glimpse of how hard it feels. See previous blog;
https://hannahbettany.com/2013/04/15/elijah-rest/

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