FEAR..

Fear is often seen as this glaringly obvious emotion. Haloween, horror films, dark forrests.. Yet I’ve found fear to be a sneaky quiet dark weasel that can creep in. As he does, he pushes out faith & peace. 

  
Three years ago I fell down a flight of stairs & slipped three disks in my back. Since then I had a very real fear of falling. 

Twenty years ago a cat jumped up at my face & scratched down it. Since then I had a stupidly annoying but real fear of cats. 

Seven years ago I started working in prison and the stories I heard & people I met, at times lead to a wrestle with fears. Not really in prison but on the out. Walking places alone, public toilets, people that looked like people I’d met etc. 

These are real but often silent fears. Except of cats, I have been known to scream or cry in the past when near a cat!

Since having my little boy a lot of fear has left. Especially for cats! I don’t want my fear to stop him in any way. So I stand firm and even say ‘aww a cat’ while trying not to run! 

My previous blog I explained about baptism and how I decided to get dunked last Sunday. I did & it was so wonderful as I’d not invited anyone but a few of my closest friends had seen the blog and were there to support me! This was awesome as I was genuinely fearful. To ‘fall’ into the water was my biggest worry in it. I told my husband he would have to hold me as to walk down the steps & then be dunked I needed him. There was so much fear in this act, which is meant to be so beautiful, that I really felt God had purpose in me doing it. Breaking the fear and choosing the Truth of God in place of any fear. 

I drowned my fears in the water and came out feeling so thankful! Baptism for me was an act of obedience-thanks and praise to my God for all He has done, is doing & will do.

  

Yesterday in a bible study I go to (& love) we were looking at Sarah & Hagar, Genesis 16. When Hagar ran from Sarah into the wilderness. She was pregnant & alone in a wilderness, she must have been so full of fear! Yet an ‘Angel of the Lord’ (maybe Jesus) came to her & spoke to her. A servant, a woman so used & seen as lowly in her position. Was met by God himself. She was so taken aback that she called God a new name..

‘She gave this name to the LORD who spoke to her: “You are the God who sees me,” for she said, “I have now seen the One who sees me.”‘

I love this! She was then able to have the courage to go back to Sarah and for the rest of her life she had a relationship with this God who sees her. I feel like it’s a comfort to me. That my God sees me. He really knows me. He sees you..

So fear needs to leave because the all powerful loving living God is surrounding me. This was highlighted again this morning by a beautiful post on a mums group on Facebook 

  
  
Yes! As you can see from my reply I was a little excited. This is our God! The one who sees us & climbs into our situations. If we choose to allow Him in, to pull the blanket over Him and welcome His peace & love..monsters leave! 

  

  

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