I held her hand, walked her into ‘dance class’ and she bounded off, twirling and jumping and running arms out wide. Wild hair, Mini Mouse joggers and jumper with two year old mess on the sleeves, full of life and expectation for DANCE CLASS!
My Poppy stood centre of the room as others were sitting down with their mummies and grandmothers, she performed ‘Twinkle Twinkle’ and her current greatest number: ‘Mr Mistoffelees‘ from CATS! I applauded as did a couple others and her teacher beamed, clapped and told her how fabulous she is! Poppy was very happy!
Then the teacher said it is time to start the class, started slow and simple and Poppy copied her teacher beautifully. Each child got a fake flower, lifting it high then bringing it low, spinning around etc. Pop went into the group of little people to get her flower and started to dance, focused on the teacher that she was smiling at and copying. Then, she noticed the other children around her, and I watched as her confident little form began to shrink.
I saw her becoming more unsure that she was doing it right. Looking at one girl who was taller lifting it very high, higher than she could – and so she didn’t try that again. Then she looked at another girl who had a long lovely skirt on and I watched Poppy tug at her trousers which didn’t swish like the skirt.
Poppy took her eyes off the teacher, stopped hearing her encouragement and copying, as her eyes were now fixed on the others around her.
Then she ran to me and fell into my arms “I not do it, I can’t do it”
Poppy is TWO years old and the world is already trying to take some of her light, trying to make her feel inferior or not quite good enough. To make her feel smaller than she is and less than those around her.
Then I looked at myself – I had done exactly the same thing from entering this room. I sat on a beanbag at the side and analysed the other mums, worried that they’d find P too loud as their sensible children were sat nicely. I had wished I’d washed my hair instead of dry shampoo – but Mondays are always for dry shampoo! I had hoped to not have to join in because I thought, ‘what on earth would I look like dancing around in front of these beautiful other women who actually looked good & had dressed in lycra’
My eyes came off the teacher, my teacher, the one I follow- Jesus. He tells me my identity is in Him, made with purpose and destiny. I am more than enough, just as I am and He wants me to live life, even when it feels hard – to the full!
So I picked up my girl, we got our fake flowers and we danced!
We followed the teacher (and we also free-styled and laughed and fell over and laughed some more). I want Poppy to see that she doesn’t need to worry about who might stand next to her, who might be taller or better at something.
Poppy is more than enough, just as she is. She is wild and fun, beautiful and kind with a great love of noise and people. I don’t want one ounce of her light to be lost – and so I see that I have a responsibility to embrace myself too. To know the truth of who I am and step into all God has for me, unapologetically and without comparison.
You are more than enough too, I hope you know it. You are loved and seen and known and have a God that is just calling you into more. Are your eyes on Him & Truth or are we letting those around us crowd Him out, and so in turn loosing who we are? As we choose to not look at those around us but to listen to our teacher (and free-style) we can be all we were designed to be – and inspire others to do the same!