Tonight I was at the memorial service of a lad who should have been celebrating his 21st Birthday. Yet sadly instead he was remembered by family and friends in a beautiful way as we all let go of 21 balloons in his honour.
I feel quite surrounded by grief at the minute. It suddenly hit me this evening. From the news which continues to break me of the horrors in Iraq, to one of my favourite & most loved actors taking his life, to very personal sadness of friends who have fear during pregnancy due to loosing babies before, and friends who have lost children recently due to the cruelness of cancer.
Feeling quite confused and just deeply saddened by it all, asking God why He can’t just explain it. I was reminded of a blog written by one of these friends. A blog which since reading it I have gone over&over and relayed. She writes that if God were small enough to understand He would be too small for all our needs.
Yet He isn’t. We can’t understand it all, we can’t understand Him or the day to day things of life sometimes. Yet
He is not weak He is strong.
He is not moveable, He is firm and cannot be bribed
He is not a liar, His promises are fulfilled.
He is not destructive, He is merciful
He does not take breaks, He will never leave you
Even just spending a short time looking at the word of God and being reminded who He is. There is so much more but I don’t have forever! Choosing to believe these promises and truths lifts me. It’s easier sometimes to look at the darkness and stay hidden in it, but darkness is as light to Him and He won’t let me stay there if I search for him.
Looking closer into each of these sadness’ I do see hope. I see hope in the strength given to families who battle with the pain. I see friends who have loved and supported this community to help them slowly transform. I see stories honestly shared so that depression cannot be a secret but be understood. I see aid workers and people all around the world give generously to help brothers&sisters in need. I see love and unity of those who have felt similar pain to each other with babies in heaven and joy as new life springs up. There is Hope.
So for me tonight, I can pray. I have seen women at the most despairing time and watched peace tangibly cover them. Peace fall over them like a rain. So that is the main thing I pray, for every heart that is held by grief and broken. That until the day comes where Jesus himself wipes every tear from your eyes, that tonight you feel the gentle loving covering of peace like rain. Falling from head to toe, surrounding you, restoring your mind and healing your heart.
The amazing blog which is so filled with the truth and hope we carry even during the days of most despair: http://mamashaven.com/2014/08/03/day-3-favourite-quote/