Just a little..tiny..bit of cocaine..

I worked with a woman in prison, when she came out we continued to work with her & she is still a lovely friend today. When she was first out she had been radically changed inside by the love of God & the amazing (like too many words for a blog amazing) things He had done in her life.

Soon after release from prison her birthday was coming up. Me & my hubby went to visit her in Liverpool and had Easter Day with her as her family were all inside so she was alone. It was a lovely day but underneath was a little theme that kept coming up- her birthday. She was turning 30yrs old & would be having a good time with friends & so just wanted a little tiny bit of cocaine on the day to celebrate. She’d been off drugs & alcohol since being out but for her birthday..just one night..she wanted a little hit.

We spent the day coming back to this issue, telling in different ways why it wasn’t a good idea. But sometimes you know what your saying is in one ear & out the other, despite the lovely smile & kind agreement! So as I left I said “Look, just ask Jesus about it. Tell Him what you’d like to do & see what His answer is”

Was it faith or a cop-out!? Often in prison I had to hold my hands up & leave it to them & God. Like we do with everyone. It is His job to convict & He is the ultimate Truth teller. So sometimes it’s best to leave it to Him when you’ve done all you can.

She rang a few weeks later. I’d prayed all weekend as knew it was her birthday weekend. She called Sunday night. I sat on the bottom steps at home dreading what I might be about to hear. She said she’s had a lovely birthday & sounded really well. So I asked if she had her little tiny bit of cocaine. She said
“I did what you told me Hannah, I asked Jesus. I said ‘Right Jesus, it’s me birthday, you know I’m 30! Your only 30 once hey. So to enjoy it id love just a little bit of coke. Just a little bit ey. Do ya mind? Do ya mind Jesus!?’
And Jesus said ‘Corse I mind you cheeky bitch!'”

I burst out laughing!!!! I couldn’t believe what she said but then she continued..
“He said ‘after everything I’ve done for you-are you seriously askin that!?’ So I said ‘ooh sorry Jesus your right, an I’ll only have one glass of wine.’ So I did, I had a glass of wine & a great time”.


Jesus spoke to her. In her own language. He knew her & knew how to get her attention. Can I explain theologically that he called her a cheeky bitch!? Not right now. But I don’t care. I believe it, because nothing previous she heard changed her mind but He did. It wasn’t a voice of condemnation it was a voice that knew her & lovingly was all she needed!

That’s what Jesus does. He is the one who can talk to us where nobody else can. He is the one who knows her. He is the one who, full of grace, can change our mindset. So we need to know this for ourselves. That maybe there is something He is telling us-that after all He did for us..maybe we need to take a look at what we are compromising on.

I also find this a challenge to quit judging! To stop thinking I know what people should be or not be doing. My call, He asks me to Love, and sometimes I can speak if He prompts. Generally though He calls me to Love while He speaks. I don’t need to throw the first stone, I just need to focus on what He is working on in me and trust the only one who is without flaw. He knows what He’s doing..and when needed He will even speak scouse..cz He is all powerful!


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