This morning I rolled over to the little voice that wakes me up most mornings, there stood next to my bed was his gorgeous face with a beaming smile.
“Mummy, it has happened, I really have grown”
He can’t wait for the day that I will tilt my head up to see him. I told him that one day he will be bigger than me you see, unfortunately in his 4year old head this coincided with the day he starts school ‘as a big boy’. So he was expecting me to get out of bed and have to look up high to see his face, taller than me!
Thank goodness this is not the case, I didn’t take a giant to school for his first day. We hurried around getting the pile of school clothes we left neatly out last night, in his excitement he ended up with the pile thrown all around the house so we spent 10minutes looking for underpants.
Today is a big day. For years I have scrolled through Facebook in September seeing people’s cute kids with ‘First Day’ Photos. Yet today it was my turn to take the photo. It is actually a huge photo to take. This day marks the start of a new way of life and the end of how it has been before.
For the last four years I have been with this boy, he is my side-kick. He has at times been my security blanket, that I can hold or cuddle or use as a distraction from other things. He made me a mummy, giving me the title I am most proud of in life. He loves me, in a way that I don’t deserve and yet am profoundly grateful for. He makes me feel good, like really good, he makes me feel like I am the most incredibly beautiful woman and have the best singing voice, plus I am hilarious to him!
I have had all of that wrapped up in this little boy and then today I have to trust him to a teacher. A teacher who will see him five days a week and now spend more waking hours with him than I will. I can’t just take him to the park, grab a coffee and a baby-chino, sit and watch a movie in the daytime in the week with him until the school holidays.
That time has finished.
Yet he has grown. He is right, he really has grown. Both in height and in character. He will be such an incredible blessing to that school, they are so crazy lucky that they got this one! He will look after other kids, he will make up the most amazing adventures with Hulk and Spiderman, he will love learning new numbers and letters and I can’t wait till he can write as I know he will write me the sweetest notes!
I am reading in Joshua 1 where God is helping this guy Josh as he starts his first day in a new role and God declares some pretty bold promises over him.
“Be strong and courageous.
Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go.”
I know that the same is true for my Lion. On the days that I can’t be stood next to him, I can trust that the God who called him and held him from the day he was conceived, who had a plan and worked his way through every step, is still stood by his side. The same God who made my boys features, how he looks like his Daddy and made his laugh crazy wild like mine and made his heart so compassionate and kind will continue to grow him. This God who has been so faithful, so true, so very present, will continue to be and says the best is yet to come.
So tears have ended (I think), and thankful ones now can come. This post is probably only for me, to get out all that was in my head, and to read back on when he goes to secondary school-haha!
The Lord is only beginning and I am so excited to see all that He will do in this boy, so chosen by heaven for a destiny I can’t begin to imagine.
Man, I love this kid.