Getting into bed the other week I felt a bit flustered and very aware that as soon as my head hits the pillow I have an amazing ability to be asleep. So I tried to sit up in bed a little longer as I was talking to my God.
I had realised that my best time with Him used to be driving alone in my car. That’s when I’d be completely me and just talk to him, often outloud or blare music and just sing crazy loud. Far too many times I’d stop at red lights and have a dude in the next car look at me like I’m not fit to drive!
I loved this time alone in the car! Amazingly it would always result in me getting some kind of answer/revelation/boost of God’s goodness. Since having little lion we have one car & so i don’t get this time alone in the car. I am certainly not confident (or crazy) enough to sing outloud as I walk around our estate!
So back to me sitting on my bed. I was telling God how sorry I am that I’m very aware we haven’t had that time together & I was trying to work out when I could. But the pull of bed was too great and my head was reaching the pillow. So just before I shut my eyes I said to Him
“I am always here for you though ya know”
Then I started laughing at myself out-loud as I couldn’t believe I’d just said that to God! The one who is GOD and why would He need me to always be there for Him! I explained to my husband (loz) why I was randomly giggling then straight to sleep when I hit the pillow!
Over the next few days a series of crazy twists and events happened in my life. Where me&Loz were having to really pray about some things God is speaking to us about in our family. To be honest for me it was scary things and meant my comfortable life as it finally feels now, with no stress, may be jiggled about a bit!
I sat back and decided to stop talking and just listen to God. After telling Him all of why I just want to stay comfortable and easy and why I felt I deserved that..I sat and was still before Him.
Then I felt him say with a smile;
“You said you’d be there for me”
…I don’t know if you feel anything in that? For me it just hit me! He’d heard my heart in my final breath before bed of just telling Him I love Him.
He’d heard it- and would use it! That’s what he’s looking for. For us to just be willing to say that we will be there for Him, then He can use us.
So we have said yes and will be stepping up in areas, not easy but I know it is where He is leading. This is the woman I want to be. Waiting on Him and letting Him know I’m here for Him. Ultimately I know He is always there for me and far more faithful that I could ever be! So maybe today He is saying to you..
Love it 🙂 Great post.